After Life at PPTH
by fluffy2001
Summary: Based on the After Life episode from St. Elsewhere. Chase is critically wounded and drifts in between Purgatory, Heaven and Hell while everyone frantically tries to save him.
1. After Life

**a/n: One of my favorite all time TV episodes was from St. Elsewhere. It was called "After Life" in which Dr. Fiscus is critically shot in the ER and drifts between Purgatory, Heaven and Hell while his team drastically fights to save him. The episode aired in 1986. Anyway, after being reminded of this episode yesterday, I had this huge inspiration to do this very same story a la House in which Chase is the beleaguered victim. Why Chase? The St. Elsewhere story has a multitude of religious (Catholic) references, so Chase was the natural choice. That and I pictured a really cool purgatory scene with his dead parents. If you know the episode I'm talking about, the plot is already given away so I hope you like the dramatic liberties I have taken given the characters and settings are different. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, and I certainly do not own the St. Elsewhere story either. I thank them for letting me borrow! **

**Time frame for this story should be anywhere after The Mistake and before Euphoria. **

It was just another hectic day in the clinic. Chase was finishing up his shift and was standing at the lobby desk finishing some notes on a chart. Cameron arrived ready for her shift to start.

"Tag, you're it." Chase told her with a huge smile, glad his shift was done.

"Gee thanks. It looks like we have another wild bunch today." Cameron visually scanned through the assortment of patients waiting in the lobby. She could tell that her shift was going to be a harrowing one. "Did you even see any patients?"

"Non-stop, all day. I'm completely spent. I was just about to see that gentleman over there. It seems he and his wife had a fight and she whacked him with a frying pan. He just needs a few stitches." Chase handed her the man's chart.

Just as Cameron opened the chart to take a look, an older woman stormed into the lobby, stopped into her tracks and started gazing around. Her black and grey hair was disheveled, her clothes rumpled and she had a stagger so bad she could barely stand straight. After a minute, she finally found the man she was looking for.

"There you are you cheater!" The woman screamed across the lobby with slightly slurred speech. "I knew this is where I would find you. You are such a wimp when it comes to pain."

"Leave me alone," the man shouted back. "I'm hurt here."

"You are really going to be hurt now." She pulled out a handgun from her pocket, took aim, and started firing. Given her drunken state, her aim was misguided as bullets flew wildly everywhere. People in the lobby started screaming and in complete panic scattered to take cover. Her gun emptied after 6 shots were fired.

"You missed me!" The man shouted at his crazy wife and walked over to disarm her.

"Call security!" Cameron over heard a nurse say from behind the desk.

Cameron was absolutely panic stricken, but in her stunned state of mind she quickly sat up from her position on the ground and looked around to make sure no one was hurt. As the commotion died down, everyone started to get up trying to recover from the shocking incident.

Judging from the movement in the room, she noticed that all was well and there were no wounded. She saw Chase still lying on the ground next to her and gave him a nudge. "The coast is clear Blondie."

Chase didn't move though. Intense fear overtook Cameron as she tried again. "Chase?" She rolled him over to find blood seeping through his shirt from a wound right where his heart was. She grabbed his neck searching for a pulse.

"No, no, no…" Cameron repeated over and over again as she couldn't find any sign of life. She looked up at the woman and man who had come over after realizing something was wrong.

"He's dead." Cameron announced to them in complete horror. The couple instantly bolted out of the hospital just seconds before the cops arrived.

----------------------------------------------

It had been a long while since Chase had felt such a high hot sun. It reminded him of summers at home. The weather was winter like earlier today, so how did it get so hot? He scanned the area all around him noticing the intense beauty of the rolling grassy meadows. They were so pleasing, yet so isolating as not a soul could be found anywhere. The place looked very familiar. He then remembered the summer vacations his family used to take to Queensland when he was a boy. _How did I get in Queensland?_ He asked himself.

He kept walking, but he really didn't know where he was going. He felt weak and flush. Then a sharp pain shot from his heart. He looked down to see blood lightly oozing from a fresh wound directly from his heart. _How can that possibly be? If I had a bullet wound there, I'd be…_

"Dead?" Chase turned around alarmed by the voice finishing his thought in spoken word. "You look like you saw a ghost."

"Yeah, well I usually have that reaction when I see ex-patients of mine that are dead." Chase said to the man. He was trying to remember his name. He had an Aussie accent, so he knew it was someone he treated during his internship.

"Clyde Norman. Yes, you were a fresh face out of med school. You handled my death very well for someone so green."

"So I'm…"

"Not quite. If you were, you wouldn't have that fresh wound. There is still hope for you. Come on, there are a couple of people you might want to see."

"What is this place?"

"Limbo, Purgatory, The Outback, anything you want to call it. We just call it home."

"We?"

"Robbie, what are you doing here?"

The shock combined with his weak feeling was just too much to bear. Chase sank down to his knees, facing the feet of the woman he just thought he saw. He looked up and saw the sun highlighting the silhouette of a thin frame towering over him lovingly. "Mum?"

---------------------------------------------

Cuddy and House arrived within 30 seconds after hearing the commotion. They rushed over to Cameron, whose face was pale and drained from utter terror. She was on the ground frantically performing compressions on Chase. "My God, what happened?" an obviously distraught Cuddy asked.

"A woman came in here gunning for her husband, missed him, but got Chase instead. His heart has stopped and he isn't breathing."

House and the EMTs took over. "I need a chest tube!" House shouted. He made the cut in the chest and inserted it. Blood poured out at a rapid rate. "Damn, it looks like the bullet nicked the heart. We need to start manual heart compressions." He made another cut next to the heart, this time the incision was much wider. "Cameron, put your hand in there!"

Cameron slid her gloved hand into Chase's chest. "Feel around the wound area and look for the hole in his heart." House ordered.

"Got it!" she yelled after a few seconds of searching.

"Put your thumb there, grab his heart and start squeezing."

As Cameron leaned over Chase compressing his heart at regular intervals, House grabbed the BVM Resuscitator and started pumping air into Chase's lungs. "Let's get him to the OR, now!"

They carefully lifted Chase onto the gurney, with Cameron continuing to squeeze his heart. "Get on the gurney with him." House commanded Cameron. "You cannot stop the compressions at any time."

They frantically rushed into the open elevator and piled inside. Cuddy looked at House with intense worry as the doors closed to the elevator and they headed upstairs.


	2. Purgatory

"Let me help you up dear." Chase's mother held out her bony hand, the one that didn't have a drink in it. He grabbed it and she tried to help pull him up, but the force almost took her down with him. Eventually Chase managed to get up on his own; grabbing his chest in agony as he slowly pulled himself up.

"Are you drunk mum?" Chase was amazed that she could still be like this after all this time.

"This ain't heaven, but it is for me. The gin and tonics are unlimited. All I get to do all day is sit in this hot sun and drink everything away. No consequences."

"No consequences except for all that puking you do. Even in death you feel like crap all the time." Another voice came from the distance. Chase's knees buckled but this time he was able to hold himself up. "Dad? Why are you here?"

"I guess a lifetime of achievement in medicine just wasn't enough. Now I'm stuck with her for an eternity. My punishment for leaving her in real life I guess. It's good to see you Robbie. I didn't think I would ever see you again."

"I certainly didn't think I would ever see you again, nor did I want to." Chase bitterly replied.

"I had my reasons Robbie. I didn't want you to see me suffer like you saw your mother suffer before she died."

"Since I was living in the US and you in Oz, I don't think I would have seen you enough to notice. You don't leave your son to hang out to dry like that. You certainly don't tell your son's boss and then swear him to secrecy." The rant was way too much for Chase. He grabbed his chest and noticed the blood spot was bigger. He started to sway.

"Let's get him back to the chairs." Clyde grabbed him before he hit the ground. Rowan took the other side and together they led Chase to the area where they spent their eternity.

------------------

Cameron and Wilson waited outside the OR for House to come out with news. Cameron's face by now was plastered with dried tears and redness from distress. She didn't allow herself to fall apart until after the surgeons let her remove her hand from Chase's chest cavity. She couldn't help but be horrified as she removed her gloves and scrubbed Chase's blood off of her arms in the scrub sink. They got him from the shooting to the OR in less than 10 minutes, but her comfort level was still poor. A direct hit like that rarely came out well.

House came out with a very troubled look on his face. Cameron busted out in sobs again without letting House say a word. She knew it was bad.

"For all practical purposes, he's dead. His body is being completely run by machines forcing his organs to think he's alive. The damage to the right ventricle is extensive. They're bringing in a specialist by helicopter from Philadelphia to rebuild it."

House walked over to the row of chairs outside the entrance and sat down. "He is going to be in there for hours. Likely the next 24. I suggest you both go home. I'll sit here tonight."

"Absolutely not," Cameron defiantly replied. "I'm not going anywhere. I can't go home. The shooting is still fresh in my mind." She sat down right next to House.

Wilson looked at them both then took the seat next to Cameron.

"I'm not going anywhere either." They all looked up to see Foreman, who was paged by Cuddy. He took his spot next to Wilson.

"Let's hope nobody actually gets sick tomorrow. We will be the sorriest bunch of doctors that ever lived." House kept his quip toned down for now. He was capable of being tactless, but this time the situation was too serious.

----------------

"Robbie? Can you hear me?" Chase's eyes fluttered open and this time he was able to see his mother's withered face glaring at him with eyes that could only reflect a mother's love. Chase noticed he was sitting feet up in a reclining lawn chair. He had to admit, the position was rather comfortable considering how much like crap he felt. He looked down at his chest to see the blood stain was back to its minimal size.

"Is it always so sunny here?" Chase asked, feeling the burn of the sun on him.

"Yes, but you get used to it. You never get sunburn or heatstroke." His mother sat in the chair next to him and proceeded to slam down her full drink. A moment later he glanced over to see the glass was full again.

"I told you, unlimited. What more could a drunk ask for?"

"How about eternal salvation mum? Is this what you really want for all eternity?"

"Is there a choice?" The look in her eyes showed her deep complacency.

"Yes. There has to be. You were raised Catholic. Souls in purgatory are supposed to await purification. It is temporal punishment. Someone in Heaven is waiting for you to fix yourself."

"I don't deserve Heaven Robbie. Heaven is for souls of purity. I'm lucky I didn't get hell."

"Yeah, well I think this is hell." Rowan jumped in on the conversation. "I can't imagine what purification God is up there wanting from my soul."

"How about to be a better husband and father? Maybe there is a reason you were put with her?" Every time Chase confronted his father, the pain in his chest became sharper. Somehow though, he couldn't avoid saying what he really felt. This chance would likely never come again.

"Yeah, so why are you here?" Rowan asked with complete contempt. 

"Come on Rowan," Clyde said amazed by his companion's ignorance. "He's not dead yet."

'He looks like death. Give up son, go toward the light."

"You're an idiot Rowan." Chase's mother jumped in to defend her son as she slammed yet another gin and tonic. "The boy has always been a fighter. He won't give up yet."

"Shut up woman! You know how much I hate being called an idiot."

Chase weakly chuckled. "Boy, aren't you glad you never had to work for House. You would have quit on the first day."

Rowan started fuming. "I don't know why you put up with such abuse from Dr. House. It is all that "turn the other cheek" crap that your mother poisoned you with growing up. You need to stand up for yourself son."

"How do you know that I take abuse from House?" Chase was surprised by their knowledge.

"We can see everything that happens from here dear. Like right now, we know your friends are frantically working to save you from your wounds. You don't know how many times you have made us so proud of you as a doctor." Chase's mother downed another drink.

"They aren't my friends. They don't care about me." Chase put his hand up to his forehead, wondering why he was feeling so hot. His chest started to feel tight like a ton of bricks were on it.

"They have a really strange way of showing it then." Rowan added. "Also, you may have noticed, anytime you deal with the reality of things, the physical discomfort gets worse. That only happens with you in limbo. Once you're dead, only the soul suffers."

Chase became really dizzy at that point. "You think this is my soul trying to let go of my body? I must make amends for my troubles before a clean break happens?"

"We aren't sure Robbie," his mother said. "We died rather instantly and like you have trouble dealing with our issues. That would be great for you though if that were the truth. Lingering might not be a bad thing after all. Maybe a gin and tonic would make you feel better? Help numb the pain?" She held her glass out toward Chase.

Even if he wanted a drink, he was too weak to lift his arms. "No, I think I'll just rest here for a while. It sounds like I have plenty of time. Thanks though mum." After giving his mother a warm glance of appreciation, Chase quickly fell asleep.

-----------------------------------

The team all were startled out of their nodding off when alarms went off and a crash team went racing into the OR. House got up and followed to see what was happening. Chase had coded. "What's going on?" House asked as he walked in loosely holding a surgical mask over his face.

"He isn't getting enough blood to his brain. His body is shutting down."

"He's on the bypass machine. What is shutting down?" House wanted to understand what could be going wrong.

One of the technicians answered. "We are increasing the speed of the centrifugal pump."

Everyone stood practically holding their breath watching the monitors and EEG to see if the blood flow would improve. For several minutes there was no change.

House stared rather gravely, not sure if he would be able to call the time of death on his youngest duckling. He couldn't do it. He resolved to give it a few more minutes.

A few minutes later, just as House was ready to give up hope, all signs started stabilizing. "It's working," the technician joyfully said.

House nodded and turned toward the entrance. He threw away the mask in the scrub area and then grabbed a nearby wall for support. He took a deep breath of relief. That was too close and unnerving for even an experienced doctor to witness. He gained his composure and joined the others outside.

"How long was he down?" Cameron asked with concern.

"Five minutes." House replied somberly.

Foreman and Cameron looked at each other with intense fear. Five minutes of compromised blood flow to the brain was always a dangerous notion.

"Let them fix the heart," House said noticing their concern. "We will worry about the rest later. If his heart doesn't beat on its own, then I think brain damage will be the least of our worries."

They all agreed and continued to hold a quiet vigil.


	3. Heaven

As Chase awoke his eyes had trouble adjusting to a much brighter light this time. The light felt far less hot than the sun that had beat down on him earlier and one that offered a comforting hue. He took a moment to focus clearly and reacted in deep surprise to see Andie starting at him with pure innocence and loveliness. Her face looked full and lively, her blue eyes sparkled, and her long hair shined with blond, flowing and curly locks.

"Hi Dr. Chase. I didn't expect to see you so soon." Andie's smile lit up her virtuous face offering deep comfort to anyone who so needed it; such as a young man who was suffering in pain as he lingered.

"I didn't expect to see you either since I was at your funeral only two months ago."

"I found out when I got here how much you hate funerals. You didn't even go to your own father's funeral. I'm deeply honored that you put that all aside for me."

Chase smiled in appreciation of her comments. "Andie, where are we?"

"Heaven of course. I pulled a few favors so I could say hi. Your chest is bleeding."

Chase looked down to see a wound that was almost completely healed, but yet a small spot still existed.

"I don't feel so well," he candidly told her.

"You aren't dead yet. Too bad you aren't a child. We get immediate passage into Heaven. No lingering in pain. I can take care of you just like you took care of me."

Even in death she was a very brave and thoughtful little girl. "How about you show me around?" Chase asked her with a bright smile. "I always wondered what Heaven looked like."

Andie grabbed his hand and helped him off of the large, white, cushioned lounge chair that he was sprawled on. They walked through an area of lush and lavish gardens. Fountains and statues laced the garden's spectrum of brilliant and soothing color. It was easily the most beautiful place Chase had ever seen.

It wasn't just the beauty though. He felt a strange peace inside. If he didn't know better, he was experiencing deep serenity. Since such inner peace had eluded him for his entire life so he wasn't exactly sure what was happening. He became easily overwhelmed by emotion. "This is heaven. It's not what I expected, but then again, I didn't have any ideas of what this would be like. This is better than I could have hoped." He spoke with a slight quiver in his voice as he fought his tears.

"Heaven is supposed to be eternal happiness. When was the last time you felt happiness?" Andie asked.

"I don't remember."

"That is why this is better than you could imagine. If you can't remember happiness, then this place can be rather overwhelming."

They walked through the landscape hand in hand in silence. Other souls were there, all walking by with peaceful and quiet demeanors. If Chase had learned anything so far, it was that time is not a concept anywhere in the afterlife. He found that comforting.

"Dr. Chase, there is someone I want you to meet." Andie led him in another direction.

"Andie, you can call me Robert."

She again showed her beautiful angelic smile. "Okay Robert, this way." They approached a young man, around ten years of age, who was dressed in old-fashioned clothing from the end of the 19th century.

"Robert, this is Michael."

"Pleased to meet you," Chase said with a nod. The boy nodded back in silence but with a pleasant grin.

"Typhoid took out his entire family. He was glad to hear that thanks to doctors like you, that is no longer a problem. Anyway, he is my boyfriend."

Chase wasn't at all surprised that Andie was making new friends so quickly. "I like him. He seems nice."

"I guess I didn't need your kiss after all. I still liked it though."

Chase blushed and said nothing.

"Michael, we are going for a walk. I'll see you later."

"See you later." Michael then turned to Chase with a slight expression of concern. "Take care of yourself mister. My mom was in limbo for a while but she eventually joined us. Wherever you go next, the spirits could turn cruel."

An uncertain Chase was touched by the boy's unease. "I'll be fine. Thanks. Take good care of Andie. She is a wonderful girl."

Andie pulled Chase along and continued to lead him through the gardens. "It is so perfect here. I wish my mom would stop being so sad. If she knew what a beautiful place this really was, free of pain, she would be happy for me instead."

"She misses you, that is all. She knows you are in a better place."

Andie suddenly stopped, got a serious look on her face, and stared upward at Chase into his eyes. "Robert, would you like to talk to God?"

Chase was completely thrown back by that question. At first he didn't know what to answer. "I talk to him all the time Andie."

"No, I mean a one on one conversation. You ask questions, he answers."

"I can do that?" Chase couldn't believe it was possible.

"That's the best part of being in Heaven. He just happens to live here."

Chase got a scared look in his eyes. "I don't know Andie. I wouldn't know what to say."

"You say what you normally say. You just say it to his face."

Chase hesitated with his answer. "I don't know. I'm just not ready."

Andie pulled him down so that she could look directly into his eyes. She touched his cheek with her small hand. "You don't have to be scared here. You only have fear now because you are still connected with the earth. Once you let go of the pain, you are free."

Chase stared at this amazing little girl. "Are you sure that you are not an angel?"

Andie's face lit up. "Maybe I am now. Aren't angels supposed to be God's messengers? I'll see what I can setup."

Chase smiled and stood straight up. The world started to spin a bit.

Andie grabbed his hand to help his balance and flashed a look of concern. "You need some rest. Your wound is bigger."

Chase looked to see the spot on his shirt was much larger. All of a sudden he didn't feel so good. The serenity was lost. They walked back to the chair and Andie helped him get comfortable. "Sleep well Robert." Chase smiled at her warm gaze and passed out.

-----------------

Cuddy entered the observation room to see her somber team of doctors. She had just spent the last few hours with the police. She had to shut down the clinic and round up witnesses for their statements.

"Dr. Cameron, I'm sorry to bother you, but there is an officer downstairs that would like to get a statement."

"A crazy woman shot and killed Chase. What more do they want to know?" She snapped.

"Please, hopefully it won't take too much of your time."

"I've given statements before. They never go quick, especially when one of your patients is involved." She bit her lip to prevent herself from breaking out in any more tears.

"Cameron, go now." House instructed. "There is nothing you can do at this moment. The only thing you might miss is if he dies, and you have already seen that once today. You never want to see someone die twice."

Cameron looked down and let a few tears roll down her cheek before reluctantly agreeing. "Okay, let's go." She and Cuddy proceeded to the elevators.

Foreman stood up. "I'm getting coffee. Anyone want some?"

House and Wilson both nodded.

Foreman left giving Wilson his opportunity to get into House's head. "Waiting must be a tough job for you. This time there is no problem to solve or a magical cure for the great Dr. House to find. It seems what we need now is a miracle."

"Miracles of healing are the type of crap only Chase believes in, and I don't see them doing him any favors right now. Care to cough up a few Catholic saints that we can harass? I'll bring my cane for the whacking."

Wilson loved hitting the sore spots. "Ah ye of little faith. What comfort do you have to fall back on if he dies?"

"Comfort is that icky crap that helps you feel all warm and snuggly on those cold winter nights with your honey by your side. I'm better than that. I don't need comfort. I only need reason."

"There was no reason for this act."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

----------------

As Chase began to rouse, he found himself in yet another surrounding. Why couldn't he just stay in one place? This near death stuff was more exhausting than life.

When he fully opened his eyes, the place looked very familiar, but it didn't feel familiar. The room felt eerie and cold. He realized he was lying on his back in a pew. He sat up and was shocked to find he was in the chapel at the hospital.

_Was this all a dream? If so, how did I end up in this room?_ Chase made it a point to never go into the hospital chapel unless he had to. He certainly would never go in there to sleep. A sharp jab struck his chest. That verified for him it wasn't a dream. There was a rather large spot this time, one that covered almost his entire side.

"Who would have thought it would be so cold? Everyone pictures fire and brimstone."

An alarmed Chase spun around to see House standing there. He wasn't there a second ago.

"What's going on House? Knock it off this time. I feel like crap."

"You haven't figured out where you are yet?"

Chase shook his head.

House flaunted a hugely wicked smile. "Welcome to hell."


	4. Hell

Chase grabbed his forehead with his right hand and started to rub his temples. His other hand clutched onto his aching chest. He was having a hard time grasping what was happening to him.

"Hell huh? You actually think I'm going to believe that the hospital chapel is the place of eternal damnation? You being here with me though makes the argument plausible. "

House laughed at the young doctor's denial. "Do I have to draw you a map? How about a clever sports analogy? No, what am I thinking? You were always the dumb one. I have to clearly spell it out. Define hell for me."

"It is where one is separated forever from God and sent to a place of pain and suffering." Chase had to stop there. He started to experience the sharp stabs of pain again. He held onto his chest with both hands and doubled over.

"Come on, you have to want it." House paused but realized Chase was in too much pain to humor him. "Okay, I'll tell you if I must. You have always avoided this chapel. This is the place where you chose to defiantly separate yourself from God. If you think about it, you chose the place of your ultimate pain and suffering."

"Why are you here then?" Chase asked the question with a gruff voice wincing from his great pain. "The chapel never caused you any pain."

"Hell is loaded with demons that torment the damned. Who torments better than me?"

Chase let out a small laugh. "I should have known. It all makes sense now. You always got huge pleasure in making my life hell while I was living. Why should death be any different?"

"I see you have accepted your demise. That should tell you that this is very real." House walked over to the struggling Chase and looked at him square with his condemning blue eyes. "I'm the least of your worries wombat. You made the judgment so easy. You rejected the grace and mercy of your God. You didn't allow yourself to be relieved of sin through confession. Both of those actions have pretty much denied you access into the kingdom of God. You are all mine now."

Chase didn't have the will to argue. He felt defeated. He only let out moans over the sharp jabs inflicting his chest. He thought to ask for mercy, but he knew there would be none here. He couldn't explain why, he just knew.

House continued to taunt. "Tell me, do you feel the presence of your God? Or do you feel coldness and emptiness surround you like a blanket? What little comfort you did feel from his presence is gone now, isn't it? You were raised Catholic, you knew hell was real."

"I didn't know what was real." Chase replied wincing in pain.

"Aw, you threw away your eternal soul just because mommy and daddy didn't love you. Boo Hoo. I guess it's all good for me."

Chase tenderly got up. He couldn't take anymore. It could be House, it could be the devil, it could be a demon, but he had enough badgering. He walked over to the back doors, but quickly found there were no back doors. He looked all around and didn't find any doors.

"You also can't run away this time either. You're going to have to accept your punishment."

"So I get to sit here and listen to you berate me for an eternity? I tuned you out when I was alive, I can do it while I'm dead." Chase delicately descended back into his seat.

"While I completely relish that very idea, sadly I'm just the welcome wagon. No, your fate is far worse. You get to sit alone in here forever being constantly reminded how you shunned your God. You get to wallow in your misery and self pity with no hope ever of distraction or relief. You won't ever see me again, and you won't have your God to save you. You get in the end what you always wanted; to be left alone."

House walked over to an agonizing Chase. He picked up his cane and pushed the end directly onto Chase's wound. Chase screamed. "This is the best part. That never heals. After a while you will adjust to the pain and grow completely numb. All meaning will be lost."

House broke out into uproarious evil laughter that lasted a good while. The sound burned into Chase's ears causing him even more agony. Then, in a flash, the laughter was gone. So was House.

The sudden emptiness consumed Chase. _Was House actually telling him the truth? Was he actually a condemned man? _

Both the physical and emotional pain proved to be too overwhelming for him to tolerate any longer. He let a few tears slip down his cheek before he gave into the hurt and lost consciousness.

---------------

Everyone was still assembled in the observation room. The surgery was 12 hours old and despite the fatigue and likelihood that there was other work to do, no one wanted to leave. Cuddy had joined them now making the room rather crowded. Each one of the five highly skilled doctors that occupied the room were too panicked to say a word.

House leaned against the glass, intently watching every bit of the surgery. He was the only one really paying attention. He watched the heart specialist step away from Chase, put down his instruments and walk over to the observation window. He pointed at House and motioned him for the door. House quickly left, startling those that were not aware of what was happening.

After a few minutes House stuck his head through the room entrance. "Dr. Cuddy, a word?" Cuddy left quickly and now those that remained knew something was wrong. Cameron, Foreman, and Wilson all shared glances of an inquisitive nature then quickly emptied out of the room as well.

In the hallway they all noticed Cuddy racing away. The specialist headed in the other direction toward House's office. "What's wrong?" an alarmed Cameron asked.

"The right ventricle is badly damaged. Far worse than he thought. The surgical team is taking a breather to evaluate all options. Cuddy has gone to see if there is a heart available for emergency transplant."

Cameron and Foreman stood in their tracks stunned. Just the mere fact that Chase was not clinically dead yet had given them hope. They weren't prepared for such a set back. Foreman decided to ask the obvious question. "Since the likelihood is there isn't one available, what are the options?"

"He has to repair the damage. He is calling his team to review alternate procedures. He needs to research doing a muscle graft with some thigh muscle. That procedure is still highly experimental with the heart and he isn't sure if it will work given the damage. I need you and Cameron to go back to the office and offer any assistance you can. I'm sure he'll welcome the help."

"What are you going to do?" Cameron asked House

"Chase in on a table with his chest cut open. Someone needs to be there to make sure he doesn't follow the bright light while we weren't looking. This is normally a job for an intensivist. Anyone know a good one of those?"

Cameron, Wilson and Foreman all silently acknowledged his point. "Great, we'll regroup in an hour to see where we stand. Coming James?"

Wilson took that to mean House didn't want to be alone in the operating room. "Yep," he said and followed behind.

-------------------

Chase didn't want to wake up this time. He kept his eyes closed tight because he didn't want to see. The coldness, the terror, it felt all too real. How did this happen to him? So, he had a crisis of faith. He never stopped believing. How did he become separated from God like this? How did he die like this?

This discomfort in his chest eventually got to be too much. He had to get up and move around. Maybe that would help with the pain. He opened his eyes and looked at his chest while sitting up. Nothing had changed. Blood was all along his side.

Something was different though. Chase turned to the back and found the doors to the chapel were wide open. He looked through the opening and while he was compelled see what was beyond the chapel, he was terrified at the same time. The coldness in the air indicated that whatever was out there could not be good. Staying in the chapel wasn't helping either, so he slowly got up and eased toward the doors.

He stuck his head out into the hallway and looked side to side. The halls were dark and devoid of any signs of human life. Chase stepped out and carefully proceeded through the hall. He looked at his chest and noticed the wound was smaller.

With each small apprehensive step he took, the terror inside him grew deeper and deeper, yet his wound grew smaller and smaller. What was happening here? Was he really dead now and his fate fully determined? Was this a possible a test of faith to see how he would react when separated from the Holy Spirit? Was this all just a dream? He didn't know and had no way of finding out.

Despite the fear Chase had to go on. He eventually found himself outside of diagnostics. He strolled into the lifeless room where everything was eerily quiet and devoid of activity. This room always provided satisfaction and joy before, but now it like everything else symbolized emptiness. In front of him was the blank white board. The board could not be used for healing anymore.

Chase looked all around the room for any signs of comfort and familiarity. He found nothing. His eyes again fixed on the white board, but this time there was a lone word scrawled on it. The horror inside Chase spiked quickly and he shot out of the room, breathing heavily from intense fright. The word was familiar to him. _Death._

Chase moved as far away from diagnostics as possible. He looked at his chest. The wound was just a small dot now. He wandered around the empty hospital in a total blur, uncertain as to where he was going or what he needed to do.

As he approached another area, he felt dizzy and grabbed the desk in the center of the room. Deep terror struck him hard when he became painfully aware of where he was. He was standing in the middle of the clinic lobby, right where he was shot. He looked his chest and started feeling around in amazement. The bullet wound was completely gone. He tried to remember what had happened, but honestly couldn't. He had no memory of a shooting at all. He wasn't sure now if one actually occurred.

As he stood there pondering, he heard a loud click. His head instantly and fearfully turned toward the direction of the noise. He saw a woman, black and grey disheveled hair, rumpled clothes, swaying back and forth, pointing a loaded gun at him.

Chase was frozen in fear. "No, please," he begged to the woman. He didn't even want to consider why he was fearful of dying when he was likely already dead.

The woman didn't take time to consider his plea. She fired without hesitation. Chase felt the direct hit in his heart and suddenly remembered what had happened before. All the pain and horror overcame him in a flash. His memory only lasted a split second though as he hit the floor and everything went black.


	5. Limbo

House and Wilson quietly monitored the struggling Chase.

Wilson wasn't sure what type of reaction he was going to get, but he knew it was time to bring the subject up. "House, there is something we need to do now."

"Well, don't keep me in suspense." House sarcastically replied.

"We need to get a priest."

"Chase isn't dead. He doesn't need last rites."

"He's near death and it is called anointing of the sick. It is a ritual of healing that is often performed in times of serious and critical illness, not death."

"Chase has always been evasive with his Catholic beliefs. He wouldn't like this."

"All the more need for the blessing. Whether Chase wants to admit it or not, he was baptized Catholic. His soul needs the sacrament if he should pass."

House looked at Wilson's serious expression and decided to back off. "You're the religious one. I'll leave it up to you. I'm certainly not going to do anything about it, but I won't stop you. I just don't plan on being anywhere near here when it happens."

"That was never an expectation." Wilson silently left the room.

House continued to stare forward and his fallen doctor. All his years of training, his brilliant ability to solve puzzles, his reckless ability to save the patient no matter what, couldn't be used in a time when one of his own is blown away by a wacko.

Twenty minutes later Wilson arrived with the priest on call, Father Samuel.

Wilson cleared the OR so the Father could be left alone with Chase.

"So, how good a Catholic is he?" The Father asked.

"Not good." Wilson replied.

"Confession?"

"I have no idea, but judging from what I do know, assume it has been a while."

"Okay, that gives me a good idea of what I need to do. Thank you Dr. Wilson."

Wilson went back to the observation room, noticing that House had already left. _Chicken,_ he thought. He watched the Father perform the sacrament and thought about the Jewish prayer of healing that he had said over the years for the many that have passed. He silently recited it for Chase.

Cameron raced in. She passed House in the hall and wondered if something terrible had happened. She gasped. "Is that a priest giving him last rites? Is he dead?"

Wilson walked over to her and offered reassurance. "It is a sacrament, a Catholic blessing for the sick. He isn't dead and we haven't given up hope. We just wanted to be careful in case the worst happened."

Cameron broke out in tears. "I'm sorry for being ignorant. I have seen too many TV shows where the priest is always blessing the dead. It frightens the crap out of me."

Wilson gave her a big hug. "I know. It frightens me too."

-----------------------------------------

Chase didn't know where he was going anymore. He aimlessly wandered in the rolling meadows; his mind was too blank to process anything anymore. He was completely numb and wondered how much more of this he could take.

He tried to remember how he got here. He couldn't, but he knew he had been here before. Yes, it looked like Queensland where he used on go on holiday, but he vaguely remembered being there recently as well.

The sun was hot, so very hot. He could feel the rays sapping the energy from his already weakened body. The weakness made him suddenly remember. He looked down at his chest. There was slight bleeding where he heart was.

_I'm not dead yet, _he told himself. He wasn't sure if that was good news or bad. He was getting oh so tired of lingering. Still, to be back here, it was better than where he came from. The terror of his previous experience now swept his mind and delicate emotional state.

"Robert, you're back." Clyde greeted him with a warm smile. "We weren't sure if you would make it back here. Usually people in limbo often don't. Then tend to end up in heaven or hell."

"Thanks. I'm not sure if I can say it is good to be back, but it is nice to see someone who isn't scaring the crap out of me. I'm pretty tired, what say we go sit down?"

"You don't want to go there right now. There is a little "unpleasantness" happening. I usually give them an hour or so and it is over by then because your mother is too drunk."

Chase knew all too well what he was talking about. That was how long he used to hide before coming out into the open. Sometimes he would come out too early and would be the bitter recipient to the tail end of the fight. Still, he was just too exhausted. "I really need to sit down. I'll take my chances."

"Okay, I'll come with you in case I need to run interference. I got your back."

Chase smiled at Clyde's amazing gesture. "I could have used you when I was a child."

Chase and Clyde could hear the screaming as they approached the chairs. The fight wasn't over. Chase looked at the stagger of his mother. "She is three sheets to the wind. The fight will be over soon."

They walked over and Chase sank down into the chair. He tried to tune the insults out like before but he was having great trouble doing so this time. Maybe it was because he hadn't had to hear this for a while, or it was because he had been through too much lately and wasn't as tolerant as normal. Either way, it grated on him. "Just stop it, both of you!" He shouted. "Some of us need to rest here." He felt that familiar sharp stab in his chest. He was getting used to it.

"Oh Robbie, you are back!" His mother stumbled over to him. "I didn't think we would get to see you again. You look rather awful dear."

"Thanks mum. I feel rather awful." Chase replied sarcastically.

"Look young man, don't take that tone with me…" She started to unfairly scold him like she always used to after a bender.

"Leave him alone!" Rowan shouted. "The boy is sick for God's sake."

"You are only defending him to get back at me you bastard! You weren't taking his side earlier. 'Go to the light…'"

Chase couldn't take anymore. He got up and started walking away.

"No, don't go Robbie. I promise we'll behave." His mother chased after him and pulled him back.

Chase reluctantly sat down, grabbed his chest and a few tears welled up in his eyes.

"Don't cry dear. It was my fault. I didn't mean to hurt you." His mother pleaded the same way she did after she was mean to him for no reason. "If it is any consolation, you shouldn't be lingering too much longer. I think the end is near."

"How do you know? What's happened?" Chase's alarmed expression showed his fear of what was to come.

Rowan decided to deliver the news. He was always best with this sort of thing. "They've stopped the surgery and brought in a priest. You don't have much time."

Chase's heart sank. Yes, he wanted all of this to be over, but he didn't think that House would ever admit defeat. He certainly didn't think House would ever allow a priest. That was no doubt Wilson's idea.

Chase felt he only had one more option. He got up, looked upward and started shouting. "Andie! I need you! I have to talk to God now!"

Chase's parents both looked at him like he had flipped. "Sit down dear, you aren't well."

"I know what I'm doing. This is my last chance to get answers before I'm done." Chase looked at them desperately.

"I'm over here Robert." He swung around to see an angelic Andie, all dressed in white, smiling sweetly at him.

Chase returned her warm greeting with his own, relieved smile.

"Ready to go?" she asked. Chase nodded.

She grabbed his hand and they walked off into the distance until they could no longer be seen.

---------------

Chase waited on a stone bench overlooking a lovely Grecian themed garden. He still had a hard time grasping the concept that God would be along shortly just to have a chat. He still had trouble believing that such a thing could happen, but he did trust that Andie would not mislead him.

As he sat there in silence enjoying the huge contentment that filled his soul, he heard someone call his name.

"Dr. Chase?"

He saw a saintly looking Kayla standing in front of him. He tried to get up but she stopped him.

"No, don't get up, you're hurt." She pointed to the small stain on his chest. "I just wanted to show you how great I'm doing. You don't have to feel guilty. It all worked out. That was an amazing thing you did for my brother and kids. You have served them well and your good deeds will be rewarded."

Chase didn't know how to respond. He so wanted to tell her how sorry he was, but he looked at her with deep sincerity and said, "Thank you."

"Thank you Dr. Chase. I know you have an appointment, so I just want wish you all the best. No matter what, it will all work out for you."

Chase watched her slip away into the garden. He didn't feel a total release from his guilt, but he did feel better. As he pondered his encounter, a voice spoke from behind him.

"Robert, you wanted to talk to me?"

The voice sounded eerily familiar. That can't be who he thought. No, it couldn't be possible. He turned around to face the figure that spoke to him.

"House?"


	6. Resolution

**a/n: The ending sequence might be a little confusing at first. It is a lot of going back and forth between settings. The you see is the divider for the settings, but it is all part of the same section. I identified when that section starts. Anyway, this is very dramatic. Enjoy!**

_Why am I so distraught about this? Why is this waiting killing me inside? _Cameron had been in the OR viewing room off and on for the last 16 hours. She was getting rather tired of it, but still couldn't find it in herself to leave. She had seen patients linger before. Would she be this upset if it were a patient shot in front of her and not Chase? She had no answers.

She was startled from her pondering to see the entire team of surgeons entering the OR ready to resume. House and Foreman were dressed in surgical gear and ready to assist.

Cuddy entered to deliver Cameron the update. "They have found their solution. They are going to graft thigh muscle into the ventricle. They are rather optimistic that is could work, that is if the heart isn't too badly atrophied by now."

"I assume that there wasn't an available heart to transplant."

Cuddy reluctantly offered the following information, knowing Cameron was going to give her grief for it. "He wasn't a candidate. It isn't just his heart. We don't know what else has been damaged from him being down and on bypass for so long."

As expected this news didn't settle well. "He's 28 years old. The committee was willing to give him a death sentence over a petty excuse like that? He was in excellent health before all this happened."

"There are guidelines. The risk was too great. Anyway, House thought the graft option was better, as did the specialist. Give them a chance. They know what they are doing."

For once, Cameron was going to trust that statement. She had to this time.

---------------------------------------------

Chase tried hard to figure out why House was sitting next to him. He wasn't in the mindset to figure out puzzles right now. He had to admit though this was a pretty weird situation.

"Robert, God has no form. When I talk to souls, I tend to take form of someone they can relate to. Don't you like my sense of irony? I never understood those that thought God didn't have a sense of humor."

Chase smiled. "It is pretty funny. How can House be both God and The Devil?"

"What, you haven't figured out that question by now? You know exactly why. The faces of spirits are often from your own state of mind."

"My state of mind has been pretty screwed up lately."

God smiled at Chase's ability to maintain a sense of humor after being through such a rough situation. "What questions do you have for me Robert?"

"Where do I begin? Why did you take me so young? Why now?"

"I always have a rough time explaining that one, because it really takes people by surprise. I think you are pragmatic enough though to take it. Earth is where I created free will of man. I chose not to take control but to only create possibilities. I didn't create the gun that took your life. Man did. I also didn't create the medical technology that your friends are using to try and save your life. Man did. I turn my head, things happen."

"Things happen? That seems like a strange comment to hear from an omnipotent being."

"That's all from the marketing brochure. On earth, I'm your average holier than thou ghost." He noticed Chase's distress from that last offhand comment. The sense of humor was gone. "It's not all bad Robert. Man has done some incredible things. I love checking in and seeing all the possibilities created. Sure, there is much bad as good, but that part wasn't a happy accident."

"What about my miserable existence with my parents for most of my life? How did man do that?"

"No one gets to choose their upbringing Robert. Your childhood is a common example of a squandered opportunity and easily the downside of free will. Your parents were given the best gift anyone could ask for, nurturing a young one through life. Sadly, they failed their challenge. That was their choice. Just like it is your choice to go through life cutting off others and your faith rather than dealing with your rejection. Your judgments are based on your reactions, not whatever good or bad circumstance that man created for you."

Chase grabbed his head and took a moment to process what he was being told. "What about all the emptiness and sorrow I feel? How is that my choice?"

"Now you are asking questions that you already know the answer to. You don't need me for this. How about asking me stuff like what was it like to create the universe in six days or why the Cubs haven't won the series in 100 years?"

"Or why the sky is blue?" Chase added.

"There is a perfectly scientific explanation for that. Google it."

Chase silently acknowledged that maybe this was a waste of time. As good as an opportunity as this was, he wasn't going to get what he needed to hear.

"Robert, I know how you wanted to hear me say that you have done your best, but that cannot be the case as long as you continue to let your emptiness consume you. You were once a man of Christ. You accepted my son as your savior. Once he is in your heart, you can't go back. Any attempts to pull away or deny him or me become overwhelming feelings of guilt. That is because you are accountable for your sin. That is true no matter what faith you choose, but you chose Christ and that is now your path. I may have chosen to not control man's actions on earth, but men will be held accountable one way or another when they leave earth."

Chase was speechless. What did he expect though? He can't fool God.

"The free will of man. You can resist all you want. In the end, it will cause nothing but hurt and pain. If you want to live the way your parents did, you are free to do so. Your actions though isolate yourself from accepting help from others. That is not the intention of life on earth. The intention is that people help one another in all ways, not just the physical healing that you have been gifted with. Those are the wonderful possibilities of glory that have been given to man."

Chase cracked a tiny smile. The words reminded him of the simple phrase that for all those years brought him great comfort. "Glory be to God."

"Glory be to me."

Chase laughed. "That sounds so appropriate coming from House." He stood up and looked away. "God has a sense of humor. I love it."

"You are blessed Robert. Always remember that."

Chase turned around to find God was gone.

The entire conversation swarmed through his head. He could have done better. He knew better. He was just too afraid.

All of a sudden he was overcome by excruciating pain in his heart. It was so intense he didn't have much time to feel it. He instantly fell to the ground and was out.

--------------------------------

(Back and forth scenes start here)

Hours later an exhausted House and Foreman entered the observation area. House chose to deliver the update. "Everything looks good from a structural standpoint. Now its time to see if the ticker actually works."

"How optimistic are they?" Wilson asked.

"Strap in tightly. It will be a bumpy ride.

oooooooooooooooo

They could see Clyde moving quickly from the long distance. As quickly as he could anyway given the fact he was carrying someone.

"Help me here!" He commanded to Chase's parents. "He's out and almost gone."

They placed Chase on the chair fully reclined and made him as comfortable as possible.

"Robbie, don't go yet," his mother tearfully pleaded. "I have so much I want to say. Please wake up."

ooooooooooooooooo

The observation room was now crowded as a few more people joined House, Foreman, Cameron, Wilson and Cuddy. The room was loaded was intense anxiety as they waited for this long ordeal to finally be decided.

In the room below a technician held the metal electrodes near the exposed heart ready to send the impulses. The specialist would send instructions when it was time to shock.

_Charge…Now!_

ooooooooooooooooooo

Chase awoke to the intense stab of his heart. This was worse than usual. It was like someone stuck a knife directly through it. He looked and noticed the stain on his chest was bigger.

"Robbie, you're awake!"

"My time is here mum."

oooooooooooooooooooo

No response.

House started pacing frantically. Everyone was on wits end, but he was finding this especially hard to watch. "Do all these people have to be here?" House shouted in a frustrated tone. "Chase never liked being the center of attention."

"House, they want to be here. They are worried." Cuddy said in a respectful manner.

House wanted to go off on one of his trademark rants, but Foreman stopped him. "It isn't worth it. Not now. Nobody expected him to come around on the first try."

House nodded and went back to watching.

_Charge… Now!_

ooooooooooooooooooo

Another huge stab affected Chase. This one was worse than the last one. He let out a distressing cry of pain.

Rowan knelt down and lovingly gazed at his struggling son. "Robert, I can't watch you die. No one should ever have to watch their loved ones die, that's why I didn't want you to know about me. I'm leaving now, but remember, I'll always love you."

"I love you Dad." Chase watched the tears fall from his father's eyes as he slowly got up and walked away.

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

Wilson tried to comfort a now overwrought Cameron, who was having a hard time controlling her grief.

"House was right. I can't watch him die again," she told Wilson tearfully as she planted her face into his arm.

_Charge… Now!_

oooooooooooooooooooooo

The intense ache was becoming more frequent and more damaging. Chase was starting to struggle now with his breath. He could feel all the blood draining from him.

"I'm sorry Robbie, for everything. I really did do my best." His mother was holding his hand, comforting him through the excruciating pain.

"I know mum. I'm sorry for letting you down."

"You never once let me down. You were never responsible for saving me." She looked at the larger pool of blood now collecting on his chest. It was so much easier when she was the one that was dying.

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

Everyone at this point had really hoped that Chase would have come around by now. Any hopes of best case scenario were now gone.

"How long?" Foreman quietly asked House, whose stood as a statue against the glass. He couldn't move and his eyes stayed fixed on the scene below.

"Ten minutes."

"What was the planned time?"

"Twelve."

_Charge…Now!_

oooooooooooooooooooooo

Chase was completely flat on his back, clutching his mother's hand with his right and his shirt with his left, which was now completely covered in blood. He gasped urgently for every breath, each attempt resulting in a deep wheeze as his airways started to close. His blue-green eyes stared forward as dark spots began to appear.

"Go on Robbie. Your suffering is done. I love you."

"I love you mum," he said with very weak and soft breath, struggling desperately to get out any word now.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

_Charge…Now!_

"House, you need to get down there." Foreman told him somberly.

House didn't say a word, but just looked at him with total apprehension and heartache.

"You're the one that's supposed to call it. It's time now."

House sadly nodded and headed toward the operating room. Everyone froze in their tracks as they watched House leave. Their hearts were broken, knowing exactly what was about to be done.

He slowly worked his way down the stairs. His delay should be enough give them one more chance.

oooooooooooooooooooo

Everything was black. The heavy breathing had now subsided, since drawing breath any longer was futile. _May the Lord in his love and mercy help me with the grace of the Holy Spirit. May the Lord who frees me from sin save me and raise me up._

Chase felt himself go into a violent freefall backward into endless darkness.

ooooooooooooooooooo

_Charge…Now!_

House stood at the entrance of the room getting ready to perform his task. The rest of the surgical team noticed his presence and knew it was time to stop.

They were all quickly distracted though. After a brief pause of a second or two, the exposed and tattered heart started beating.

The entire room was stunned, completely startled by the movement that they had just given up hope on. They stood in their tracks, holding their breath, hoping that the weak and inconsistent beats would get stronger and more frequent.

Cameron intently watched with her jaw hanging open and tears of hopefulness rolling down her cheeks.

Foreman tried to show complete calm, but each erratic beat of the heart hit his gut harder and harder with wrought emotion. _Come on Chase,_ he said to himself encouraging his colleague to keep fighting.

Wilson gazed with apprehensive eyes. He had deep hope, but he had seen these glimmers of hope often fail.

Cuddy had a hard time watching and turned away. She fought back tears. She needed to be brave for everyone involved.

House towered over the body, with his tired blue eyes fixed on the throbbing heart. He watched for several minutes as each beat slowly started to flowing life back into Chase.

After five breathless and silent minutes in which it seemed time actually stood still, the surgeon broke the stalemate. "Close him up."

He turned to House and they both shared a tired and worn out smile. "Good job." House told the other doctor. He then left without saying a word.

--------------------------------

Cameron found House later, sitting in his dark office, staring forward into the night. She wanted to thank him for his part in saving Chase's life, but she knew that he never wanted thanks. A living patient was his reward, especially when it involved one of his own.

She wandered into the ICU where Chase was still critical but holding his own. He was heavily sedated and would be out for several days. She sat down next to him and prepared to settle in for the night. "I wouldn't have been like this for just any patient. You do matter to all of us."


	7. Awakening

"It's time." House boldly made the announcement as he wandered into the conference room where his two able bodied doctors were enjoying their morning coffee.

"No, he's not ready." Cameron defiantly declared. She had checked in on Chase last night. Yes, he was showing slight improvement, but he was still awfully weak. It had been three very touchy days since the surgery brought him back. The first 48 hours being the worst was no cliché. She had a gut wrenching time watching him struggle and wished at moments he would just let go. Yesterday though brought some slight hope as he finally stabilized. He was still too frail.

"House, he needs at least another 48 hours." Foreman was more than ready to back Cameron up on that one. "It doesn't pay here to be dangerous."

"We need to see if anything is wrong with his brain now. His heart can handle the shock."

Both Cameron and Foreman stared at House with blazing disapproval. As they looked at him though, they knew their objections would be ignored.

"I'll be in the ICU." House turned around and walked away.

As Cameron and Foreman quickly followed, the usually familiar sight was clearly missing something. House moved as quickly as he could down the hall with his cane and trademark limp as his two worried doctors trailed behind. There should be three.

They arrived at the ICU and saw the familiar setting that had so occupied their time over the last few days. Cameron noticed a slight amount of color in a face that had been nothing but pale and drained. The vitals were slightly stronger too. Maybe House was right.

Foreman still wasn't convinced. "He should be stronger. He's better, but more time won't hurt."

House said nothing and walked over to the IV tube. He pulled out a syringe and without hesitation injected it into the line. The three stood very still, watching with their breath held, uncertain as to what was about to happen.

Within a minute they started to see all the subtle signs of waking. His right hand started to twitch. Then a leg would ever so slightly move. His head started to slowly turn against the pillow that it rested on. Finally, the eyelids began to flicker.

"Chase, wake up!" House instructed his youngest duckling.

_Is that House's voice again?_ Chase asked himself knowing he was coming out from another fog. "Wake up!" he heard again. Chase didn't want to wake up. He was afraid to see where he was this time. _I remember dying._

Eventually his mind couldn't resist the stir. The light became brighter as he slowly allowed it to peer through his opening eyelids. Sure enough, he did hear House. He saw those deep blue eyes staring upon him.

_Something isn't right. He shouldn't be here. Where is here?_ Fear and panic quickly swarmed over him. He silently and fearfully stared at House.

The others saw the distraught reaction of their colleague. "Chase, we are here too. Everything will be alright."

Chase turned his eyes toward Cameron and offered her the same frightened gaze that he just gave House. He couldn't answer her.

"Chase, take a minute to calm down. You are going to be okay." House knew that was a small lie. He really didn't know if anything was wrong or not. "Can you say something?"

Chase continued his stare of complete alarm and said nothing. House looked back at him maintaining full eye contact to assure him he was in control of the situation. "Take a few more minutes. We will be right over here."

House motioned the other two for a conference on the other side of the room. "He's a little freaked out."

"No, you think?" Foreman sarcastically replied. "You should have waited."

"There's no guarantee that he wouldn't have reacted this way under different circumstances." House replied.

As House and Foreman argued, Cameron had her eyes fixed on a still disoriented Chase.

Chase scanned the room with his anxious eyes. It certainly looked like the ICU. Was it though? He felt really weak and had crushing pain on his chest, like twenty elephants were sitting on it. He sensed his labored breath as he lifted his hand to feel the oxygen tube running across his face and anchoring in his nostrils. He looked at his chest to see the slight seepage coming through where his heart was and from there followed the multitude of wires running from his chest up his left shoulder. He traced the wires to the monitors and noticed the weak vitals.

Everything started to overwhelm him. He lifted his right hand to his forehead to help process the shock only to notice the IV tube stuck into his arm. He didn't know if this was real. He was tired and desperately wanted it all to be over. _Why haven't I died yet?_ The intense emotion got the better of him. He buried his face in his hand and started to weep.

House and Foreman stood in shock as they watched Chase fall apart. Sure, he had the right, but they didn't know the best way to help. Cameron brushed by them both, sat down on the bed and grabbed Chase's left hand to offer support. She was disgusted with the other two. "Get out of here. Give him some space," she commanded.

House and Foreman silently left leaving behind Cameron to calm down an emotionally shattered Chase.

----------------

Cameron entered House's office an hour later. Wilson was sitting with him and they obviously were spending the time waiting. Cameron's slightly red eyes indicated that she just had a hard time as well as Chase.

"Did the nice Dr. Cameron make it all better?" House asked mockingly.

"Like you would care." Cameron snapped back. "I told you it was too soon."

"Ignore him. Please tell me how he is." Wilson asked. "I would like to know."

Cameron relented as spoke directly to Wilson. "He's sleeping. The entire time I tried to calm him down he wouldn't say a word to me. He's a mess."

"Dr. Mess needs an MRI if he won't start talking to us." House replied. "We'll try again in a couple of hours. Did you tell him what happened with the shooting?"

"No, I didn't want to make things worse. You can try talking to him again on your own. You can be a man and pick up the pieces for once. I'll be in the clinic if anyone needs me."

House had a clever comeback but Wilson looked upon him with displeasure. He bit his tongue in a rare display of restraint.

"Good for you. I'm hoping your restraint is due to your realization that she too is traumatized by the shooting. This has probably been harder on her than anyone. You have to admit, under the circumstances, she is holding up pretty well."

"She has to hold it together. I'm already dealing with a damaged doctor. I don't need another one."

"Your team has to feel so lucky having such a sympathetic boss. I'm just all warm and fuzzy thinking about it." Wilson left House alone with his grumpiness.

---------------

Chase felt a slight nudge on his shoulder and those familiar words. "Wake up!" He was tired of constantly waking up. He wanted to sleep forever. He opened his eyes and again and wondered if House would ever leave him alone.

"Chase, I need to do a routine neurological check."

Chase looked at him with a piercing emotionless glare and said nothing.

"Still won't talk I see. That actually makes things better for me. Lift your right arm."

Chase continued to stare and did nothing. House uncovered his feet. "Move your toes." Again, no movement. A concerned House took his light pen and ran them along Chase's feet. They shook indicating normal reflex. He found a nearby instrument with a sharp point and stuck it on each hand. His hands jerked in normal reaction.

House sat down next to the bed to see if he could get something out of him. "Chase, I'm not going to try and spare your feelings here. Maybe if you know what happened you will know how important this all is."

Chase's weary eyes stayed fixed on House, but he stayed silent and showed no reaction.

"You were shot in the clinic. The bullet pierced your heart and for all practical purposes you were dead. You were down for a few long periods and we are concerned about brain damage. Do you understand?"

Chase started breathing heavier and showed obvious signs of panic and distress in his eyes. After a few deep breaths he managed to pull himself together and absorbed the news without breaking down. Despite what House said, it still didn't seem real. He chose not to respond.

"Chase, you need to answer me."

Chase flashed House another distressed glare but said nothing. He couldn't speak. Actually, at this point, he didn't know if he couldn't or if he didn't want to.

House resigned himself to the fact that his request would go unanswered. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a pen and a scrap piece of paper. He placed them in Chase's lap. "Write it down then. Tell me what is wrong."

Chase stared at the paper and pen. It's not that he couldn't write. He just had nothing to say. He let the items sit there undisturbed.

House looked down disappointed and nodded as he took back the paper and pen. "Okay. We'll have to go from here. Someone will be around to get you shortly. You're getting an MRI. We'll figure this out."

Chase wasn't sure whether to be scared or reassured by House's promise. Either way, he wasn't sure he wanted to know the result.

---------------------

Cameron was pushing Chase along in a wheelchair on the way to the MRI. She noticed how uncomfortable he was the way he was holding onto his chest and leaning over. He hadn't sat upright yet, so she knew the position change had to be hard. "Chase, is there anything I can do to help the discomfort?" He didn't answer.

She wheeled him inside and over to the MRI machine. "Wait right here, we'll let you know when we are ready."

She joined Foreman in the control room. "What do we hope to find?" she asked.

"I'll take any abnormality at this point that affects the command centers of the brain." Foreman got a very alarmed look on his face.

"What?" Cameron asked.

Foreman pointed toward the room. Cameron turned around to see Chase climbing slowly and carefully out of the chair. He grabbed his chest, wincing in pain the entire time.

Cameron rushed to help Chase. "Stop, let me help you." She grabbed him by his arm and noticed how badly he was shaking. "Bad move. You could have hurt yourself." She assisted him onto the table and got him settled for the scan. "Are you comfortable?"

As expected he didn't respond. "I'll take that as a yes." She moved him into the machine and then rejoined Foreman in the control room.

"He seems to know where he is." Foreman observed.

"Why won't he talk to us?"

"That's what I hope to find out." Foreman turned on the intercom. "Stay still, we are starting now."

Chase pulled his arms away from his aching chest and put them to the side so not to disrupt the scan.

Foreman and Cameron shared surprised glances. "He understands what is happening. I don't think I need an MRI to tell me that there is no damage. At least I'll have some proof for House." Foreman proceeded with the scan.


	8. Reality

"Everything was normal?" House was not in the mood to hear such information. Inability to speak is usually a neurological slam dunk.

"We should be relieved." Cameron replied. "So far all tests seem to indicate that he hasn't suffered any brain damage."

"He's not talking or willing to communicate to us. How does that not indicate brain damage?"

Foreman jumped in knowing that House wasn't thinking objectively. "Come on House. You know that 40 present to neurologists with a variety of symptoms for which there is no current organic or psychological explanation despite extensive investigation. We have yet to pursue psychological factors. What happened was pretty traumatic."

"I'm not ready to consider the psychological ramifications. Usual reactions to traumatic stress like this are delayed by months."

"Maybe a usual reaction doesn't fit because you are avoiding the possibility that he wasn't fine when this happened. The shooting would be a perfect event to push someone over and already teetering edge."

"I'm sorry, I thought your specialty was neurology, not psychology. I need a neurological answer. Go find it. I need other ideas."

"We are likely dealing with something very vague here like Conversion Disorder. Since he is still too weak to go through the battery of motor and sensory function tests to support that diagnosis, we don't have much to go on. We might need to wait until other symptoms present themselves, or maybe he will start speaking on his own."

House was rather livid at Foreman for suggesting such a thing. "Conversion Disorder nice umbrella diagnosis invented by lazy doctors who don't want to admit they have no freaking idea what is wrong. Do I look like the type that opens an umbrella when it starts to rain?"

Foreman gave him a jagged stare. House continued. "Besides, that disorder usually affects women by 6:1. I also think he was shot, not sexually abused. He doesn't fit the typical profile."

"Another typical profile includes symptoms like aphonia due to the patient trying to avoid emotional difficulty. You don't like this because it is too easy and you might actually have to admit that someone on your team isn't dealing with a traumatic situation properly." Foreman shot back.

"So what do we do to treat it?" Cameron had to agree with Foreman on this one.

"First, we need to confirm the diagnosis. In order to do that, we have to prove that his inability to speak is not under voluntary control." Foreman was glad to see somebody was on board.

"How do you prove that?" Cameron asked.

Foreman looked at her and shrugged. "I don't know."

House still wasn't buying it. "Conversion disorder is the new touchy-feely term for hysteria. Hysteria is a catch-all that has been around since the dark ages. Hysterical Mutism. No one uses that diagnosis anymore. Considering it as a diagnosis is pure quackery because it doesn't identify the medical cause."

"Fine, shouldn't you at least order a psych consult then?" Cameron argued. "That way you can be proved right if it isn't psychological."

"He's damaged enough. I don't need some mind bender to make things worse if I don't have to."

"Fine, how about I run more painful and useless tests just to stroke your ego. Chase will understand. He's had to do it enough for our patients before." Foreman left the room fuming.

Cameron was livid as well. "While you and Foreman try to hunt down some mysterious undetectable physical ailment even though the answer is right in front of our faces, I'm going to work on actually trying to get through to him. There are other ways to communicating other than words. Maybe he can tell us what is really wrong."

Cameron stormed out cursing at House under her breath. As she angrily stomped down the hall, she came up with an idea that might help Chase along. She headed straight for the hospital entrance and to her car. Next stop, Chase's apartment.

---------------------

"Good morning Dr. Chase." Cuddy entered the room with a cheerful smile. Cameron updated her on all the recent developments, so she knew to tread delicately.

Chase looked at her with exuded calm, indicating that he was not bothered by her presence. He wondered why she was coming to see him though. It was likely due to the fact he was gravely wounded in her hospital.

"How are you feeling?" Cuddy predictably got no response, just an unchanged stare.

"I was told you were having trouble speaking. That's okay, you don't need to answer me. I came for two reasons. The first is to see how you are doing. You look way better now than you did a few days ago. I heard you will likely be moved out of the ICU this afternoon. We got a nice private room ready for you upstairs. "

Chase still didn't change expression as she talked to him. He knew she was trying to be nice, but he still wondered where this was going.

"Anyway, I said there were two reasons. The police really want to speak with you. I keep fighting them off and telling them you are not well enough yet. I will fight them off as long as you need me to. You tell me when you are ready."

Chase wasn't sure what in the world he could tell the police, even if he could talk. He remembered a couple fighting, but he tuned it out just like he did with his parent's fights. He was just trying to finish his notes and go home. He only recalls a scream and everything suddenly going dark.

"Anyway, they should have all they need from Dr. Cameron. She was able to give them a very detailed statement. She even provided them a great description of the shooter. The police think they are really close to catching her and her husband."

Chase's expression suddenly changed to a look of slight distress. He fixed his worried eyes on Cuddy, trying to show he understood but at the same time had concern that Cameron was involved too. It never occurred to him before now, even though he didn't know why it wasn't obvious.

"I'm sorry to worry you. I just thought you should know that everything is under control. Get some rest. It will all be okay."

Chase was getting tired of being told everything will be okay. He was not okay, and now he wondered how many others were not okay either. He was also frustrated because he had no way of finding out.

These thoughts raced through his mind as he tried to fight sleep. He was afraid to sleep, because he didn't know for sure if he would wake up here next. Eventually though his body got too tired to fight it and he drifted off.

--------------

"Chase?" His eyes carefully opened, distantly hearing the voice that was waking him from his rest. He saw Cameron's smiling face, obviously trying to keep a cheerful disposition for his sake. He didn't mind. She was often not nice to him, so this was a good change of pace.

"I hope you don't mind, but I went to your apartment and brought back some personal items." She held up a bag, hoping that Chase would take it from her. Instead, he continued his now familiar stare and did nothing.

"I wasn't sure what you liked, so I just took some guesses based on what was lying around. If something is not there that you want, let me know and I'll get it for you." Cameron placed the bag on the tray table next to his bed. "I'm sorry if I'm disturbing you. I can come back later."

It was hard to know what Chase was saying just by trying to read his eyes and facial expressions, but Cameron got every impression that he wanted her to stay. She sat down next to him and he showed no objection.

Cameron got very serious as she knew it was time to have this talk. "I was going to do this eventually, but I feel compelled to share all this with you now. Since more people are visiting now, I don't want you to be shocked or hear the wrong thing about the shooting. I know House told you an overview of what happened, but I want to fill in the details if that is okay."

She stopped to look for signs of panic or distress, but instead Chase looked at her intently listening and ready for her to go on.

"Okay, I'll go on. I'm not sure if you remember, but you and I were in the clinic when a woman came in and pulled out a gun aiming for her husband. She was drunk and fired wildly. You and I both took cover on the ground, at least I thought you did at the time. It was over rather quickly and no one else was hurt…"

Cameron paused to take a few deep breaths. She was getting upset given that the memories were still too fresh, but she had to go on for Chase's sake.

"I rolled you over and there was no pulse..."

He listened to her give every painful detail. Cameron was always so thorough, but he also understood how hard it was to talk about it. It was hard for him to hear it.

"...House cut into your chest and I had my hand in there squeezing your heart until we got to the OR."

She felt his hand grab hers. Chase was now sending a message with his eyes of deep sympathy. She couldn't avoid her emotions and let a tear slip down her cheek. They understood each other's pain. Chase's gesture of support surprised her, but also gave her the strength to go on.

"You were in surgery for almost 23 hours. We almost lost you a few times..."

He wanted to tell her how he was lost too. How he was drifting from place to place in complete pain, waiting anxiously for the end to come. He knew she would never understand that though.

"…We really didn't know you were going to make it until two days ago. You have to understand why we are on pins and needles with you right now. I really want you to know that what happened was every bit as terrifying and real for me as it was for you. Maybe more so because I watched you die."

Cameron broke into a few more tears. His glare grew more compassionate and he grabbed her hand harder. He wanted to thank her for telling him the truth and show her appreciation for all she had done for him. He tried putting that all in one glance, but he knew the message was lost in translation. His look changed to one of deep frustration.

Cameron could tell he was struggling based on the tortured eyes that she fixed upon. "You really can't talk even if you wanted to, can you?"

He continued to stare in frustration, thus indicating that he couldn't.

"Foreman brought up the possibility of Conversion Disorder. Do you think he might be right?"

Chase thought about it for a few seconds then took his eyes off hers and looked down. He wasn't convinced this was all still real, let alone what it was he might have.

"It's okay. You know as a team, especially House, that we don't give up. We will find a way to treat this. You look really tired. I'll check back later. You should be settled in your own room by then."

Chase threw her one last look of deep concern before letting go of her hand. "I'm fine. You shouldn't worry," she assured him. He let go once he believed her.

Cameron stood outside at the nurse's station, watching from afar. She wasn't certain how well he took all that information. He sat and pondered solemnly for a few minutes, then reached over and pulled the bag of personal items over to his lap. He fished through the contents and grabbed only one item before putting the bag back on the table. Cameron brought his chosen item as an afterthought after seeing it lying on the table on the way out. She wasn't sure if it was a good idea, but now she was glad she brought it.

She wore a sad smile as she watched him absorbed in every word that he read from his bible.

----------------

He had that cold feeling again. He walked through the dark empty hallways of the hospital, eerily feeling all the evil was surrounding him. Each slow step caused more and more terror inside. He was afraid to move on, but he had to.

_My God, My God, Why hast thou forsaken me?_ He couldn't help but think of the cries of Jesus as he was separated from the Lord. He found himself wandering into diagnostics and was consumed by all the emptiness around him. He noticed the empty white board then turned away to scan the room for any signs of familiarity. He found none. His eyes came back to the white board to see a new scribble. The word was _fear._

He quickly left the room very frightened by the message. He began to roam the halls aimlessly, his mind fading when it came to all the memories of recent times. None of it was real.

Chase felt a huge spike of angst. He looked around to find he was in the clinic lobby. He stood at the spot where it all happened and noticed his chest was all healed. He tried to remember what it was that was significant about this place.

From the distance came a click. He turned to look at a woman with black and grey disheveled hair and rumpled clothes pointing a gun at him. He became besieged with fear. "No please," he begged, but his pleas were to no avail as she fired.

He quickly fell to the ground, but this time there was no pain and no fade to black. He quickly sat up, looked at his chest and saw he was unharmed. His flash of amazement though turned to horror as he saw the body next to him. He slowly turned the body over and gasped to see a dead Cameron shot straight through the heart.

Chase shot up in bed in his private room, breathing heavily and heart racing as one of the monitors started to beep wildly. He felt a huge stab of pain from the sudden movement and laid back down clutching his chest in agony.

The night nurse rushed in to help him. She saw him holding his chest in pain, panicked, breathing heavily and sweating profusely. She frantically paged the doctor on call. The doctor arrived and for several minutes they worked on him until he calmed down. "He must have had a nightmare," the doctor said.

Eventually, all signs went back to normal. Once he was stable, the nurse helped him get settled. "You desperately need some rest. I'll check on you later."

Chase sat in the bed, beside himself in shock. What he just experienced wasn't real; it was a dream. If that was a dream, then where he was now was probably real. He was alive. How? Why did God spare him? It all didn't make sense.

There was only one way to prove it. He turned off the monitors, ripped off the wires, and unhooked the IV. He carefully got up and tried walking. He was very wobbly, but found if he hanged onto a wall he would be able to move. He opened the door, looked both ways, and noticed no one around. He headed out.


	9. Absolution

A flustered Cameron ran into Foreman in the hallway. "I was just paged. Chase is missing."

"What? I know this has happened before, but how do patients get up and leave and no one notice?" Foreman thought that the hospital would have learned by now.

"I don't know, but he is obviously feeling better. The nurse last saw him an hour ago. She said he had a mild attack, and then everything stabilized."

"Let's hope feeling better doesn't mean a well enough for a trip off the roof. I'll look there."

"I'll check all the places he usually goes to hide. He couldn't have gotten far."

Cameron searched just about every lounge, exam room, locker area, and conference room she could think of. She even checked several men's rooms which got her a few strange glances in some of them. Her cell phone rang. "Not on the roof." Foreman declared. "Have you tried the basement yet?"

"No," said Cameron. "The only thing down there is the morgue."

"Well, maybe he's seeing dead people. I'll check there."

Cameron ran through all the places in her mind. There was only one place she hadn't checked yet. She didn't try there because it was the least obvious. Chase always avoided it if he could. She had to check, it was her last resort.

She exhaled a small sigh of relief when she saw that all too familiar head of messy blonde hair inside the chapel.

"Chase?" She slowly walked in trying not to startle him.

He didn't even hear her. His head was down and a single fresh tear rolled slowly down his cheek. _This place isn't supposed to feel like this. It always used to overwhelm me with fear and guilt. Something's changed._

"Chase, how did you get here? We were worried. Why did you come here?"

Chase didn't acknowledge her again. He was clearly despondent. _This is real though. How do I know for sure? This feels more real than anything I have ever felt in my life._

Cameron grabbed his chin and pulled his eyes toward hers. "Something is really wrong. Can I help?"

Chase took a deep shuttered breath. She wouldn't understand even if he could tell her. _All I feel right now is the grace and mercy of God. I felt this way once a long time ago. I thought it was gone forever._

"Chase, you can trust me."

He placed his face in his hands desperately trying to fight back more tears. _This may be real, but I need to make sense of this. _

Cameron determined her efforts were to no avail. "Okay, I'll step outside if you would like some private time, but I'm not leaving you alone. You are still in bad shape physically and I need to keep an eye on you."

Chase looked at her with his distraught eyes, his glance indicating that he indeed needed more time.

"I'll be outside with a wheelchair. Let me know when you are ready."

Cameron spent the majority of the next hour watching him. He never got up, but often his head did move down for prayer. She wondered desperately what was going through his mind and if it was anything she could help with. Given the fact it involved praying, she doubted it. He was clearly trying to work something out.

"You have work to do." Cameron heard House's voice in the distance.

"I'm not leaving him." Cameron replied. "He's really upset."

"What, you aren't up on your prayers and verses? Maybe you could have at least joined him in a round of 'You Have A Friend In Jesus'. Of course you would have had to do all the singing."

House walked over to Chase in the chapel and towered over him. Chase looked at him recognizing this scene was strangely familiar. He just knows now it didn't happen in this life.

"You're holding up my doctor. She has real sick people she needs to care for. Happy time with God is over."

Chase moved his eyes downward and decided to defiantly ignore House. He will leave when he is good and ready.

House nodded and headed out of the chapel. "Stay here, I'll be right back," he said to Cameron. She watched House go down the hall, disappear into a room, and come back out less than a minute later.

House breezed right by her as went back into the chapel. He came up to Chase, pulled out a syringe from his pocket and plunged it into Chase's arm.

Chase flashed him a look of utter rage, but the glare was brief as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. He was out.

"Good night Gracie." House walked back over to a now stunned Cameron. "You can take him back to his room now." He limped away.

-----------

"You insufferable, sociopathic bastard!" Cameron shouted at House as she entered his office. She noticed in the corner of her raging eye that Wilson was there.

"He needed rest." House defended his actions.

"He's trying to work things out. You disrupted that process. Do you really have it in for him that badly? You fought so hard to have him live so you could go back to tormenting him as soon as possible?"

Wilson started rubbing his temples. "Dare I ask what happened this time?"

"House sedated Chase in the chapel because he was taking too long."

"You insufferable sociopathic bastard." Wilson added, albeit less vocally than Cameron.

"He was emotionally despondent. That is not something that someone who has had reconstructive heart surgery should be dealing with right now." House argued.

Cameron continued with her fury. "Oh, that's right. You have been so overly concerned for his well being ever since you woke him up too soon. All he did for you before this was his job loyally. Tell me, was he finishing his clinic hours or yours when he was gunned down?"

House looked down and said nothing. He didn't have a good response for a rant that Cameron had to get out in the open or she would explode.

Cameron cracked a small amazed laugh. "That's it. You feel guilty because you should have been there instead. You certainly have a strange way of dealing with guilt. You are punishing the one person who actually took a bullet for you. You scare me House."

"You must have me confused with Chase. He has the guilt issues, not me."

Cameron left in a huff. She couldn't stomach House right now. She was going to sit with Chase until he woke up. She didn't want him to be alarmed when he realized what happened.

Wilson and House sat in silence in the office. "She has a point. You do have a strange way with guilt." Wilson said breaking the silence.

"How is it guilt? Chase just doesn't want to be treated differently. I treat all my patients this poorly."

"Especially ones that like being your wingman. I really think Chase does need that psych consult. Why else would he do all that for miserable old you?"

Wilson left House alone to ponder. He didn't need a lecture from Wilson. He needed to know how to fix his doctor. He had no idea how to do that.

--------------

_Chase recognized that bright hue. He was surrounded by it. The calm and peaceful feeling enveloped his troubled mind like a warm blanket. In his moment of deep serenity he also realized he felt no pain. He glanced down at his chest and saw no sign of a wound, but suddenly realized he was wearing an all white suit, white shirt and pale blue tie._

_"Robert." _

_Chase whipped around to see Andie, who was also dressed in all white. Her dress was beautiful and flowing, much like her long golden hair._

_Andie came over to him and motioned for him to kneel down. As their eyes met, she put her tiny hands on his throat. "You are going to be okay now. It's finally over. You are now healed." She gave him a huge and assuring warm smile. He returned her gesture with a big hug of gratitude._

Chase startled Cameron by abruptly jerking himself up from his sleep. He was breathing heavily and completely disoriented.

"It's okay Chase. I'm here." Cameron said running over to his side.

He paused for a few seconds to get his bearings and shook his head to awaken his senses. "Dr. Wilson," he said softly in a gravely voice that could barely produce the words. He cleared his throat and tried again. "I must speak with Dr. Wilson."

Cameron looked at him with excitement. "Chase, you're talking!"

"Please, I must speak with him now."

"Chase, you just need a moment..."

"Please?"

Cameron was completely baffled as she looked into his pleading eyes. She could tell that whatever the issue, it was urgent. "Okay, I will find him for you." She quickly left the room.

-------------------

"He's talking?" Wilson was rather surprised. He and Cameron were on their way to Chase's room in a hurry.

"Yes, but the first thing out of his mouth was that he had to talk to you. Do you have any idea why?"

"None. I'm as curious as you are."

They found Chase patiently waiting. "Cameron, can you please leave us alone?" Chase asked rather calmly.

"Okay, I'll be outside if you need anything." She left the room, leaving Wilson to stare inquisitively at Chase.

"What's so important?" Wilson asked curiously.

"You called in a priest."

"Who put that idea in your head?"

"You called in one when I was near death, didn't you?"

Chase stared at Wilson demanding an honest answer. Wilson relented, knowing he couldn't lie to the kid.

"Yes."

Chase grabbed his head is slight disbelief, knowing how much that changed things. It was all starting to make sense. "Why?"

Wilson took a deep breath. Explaining this wasn't going to be easy. "I'm not exactly a devout Jew, but I believe in the Jewish rites for the sick and dying. I had a hunch that the same was true for you with your Catholicism. I didn't think it could hurt."

Chase shook his head in amazement. His hand was forced now.

"Is there something wrong with what I did?" Wilson was having trouble figuring out Chase's reaction.

"No. It's just I haven't confessed in years and since I was unable to do so while in the immediate danger of death, I was likely granted absolution."

"I did tell the priest you haven't been a practicing Catholic for a while. Isn't absolution a good thing?" Wilson asked surprised by Chase's dismay.

"Sure, except for one thing. I survived, so now I'm required to make a full sacramental confession as soon as possible."

"That thought freaks you out doesn't it?" Wilson asked with a grin.

"Yeah, it freaks me out, but I have do it. I would be a fool to turn my back on the gift of absolution. The wrath of hell is not fun. Do you think you can get that priest back here?"

Wilson smiled. "I can get him right now if you are ready."

"Yes, I'm ready." Chase's expression changed to one of deep gratitude. "Thanks Dr. Wilson. Nobody else would have done that for me."

"You're right, no one else did. I want you to remember that if I'm in the same bind. I can't count on House."

Chase smiled. "I'll always remember."

-----------------

Wilson entered the office where House, Cameron and Foreman were curiously waiting. "He's with the priest right now. Who told him I brought in a priest earlier?"

They all looked at each other rather stunned. "You brought in a priest?" Foreman asked in surprise.

"It wasn't Foreman obviously, and it certainly wasn't me. I hated the idea too much." House noted. "That leaves Cameron, or the priest."

"I didn't tell him." Cameron said.

"Father Samuel is with him now. He didn't know until 20 minutes ago that Chase had lived."

"How did Chase find out?" Cameron was flabbergasted.

House knew. He quickly headed for the hallway. "Where are you going?" Foreman asked.

"I'm going to share ghost stories with a wombat."

**a/n: I will do my absolute best to have the final chapter by tomorrow, but after reading it today I realized it demands a rewrite. It won't be too long, but I'd rather it be right. **


	10. Reconciliation

"The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead." House said as he barged into Chase's room.

Chase shot a glare at him of complete contempt. House was not welcome in his room.

"Albert Einstein said that. He was one smart cookie. Not that you would know anything about that."

Chase chose to ignore House's insult and say nothing. For the first time in ages he was forgiven for his sins. He wasn't about to start right away with House.

"Oh, so you aren't talking again. How convenient. While I would love to sit here and insult you all day, I'm here on a mission. Tell me, how comfy was that fluffy cloud you were sitting on while you watched the priest do his magic on your dying self? None of us told you about it."

Chase was not willing to answer the question at all.

"Come on, the white light, the peace and serenity, the watching the world from afar. Did your dead parents drop in for a visit? You had all damn day to catch up."

"I thought you didn't believe in that stuff. You were pretty quick to discount your own death." Chase didn't buy into House's sudden curiosity of the after life. He knew House was trying to harass him for fun.

"I only had less than two minutes to make sense of it, and my family isn't dead."

"You wouldn't understand what I saw."

"Chase, I'm about the only one that would understand. I still think it was your brain was playing tricks on you, but the priest guess was pretty good. How did you figure that one out?"

"Now why does it really matter? You aren't the religious type. You shouldn't care whether or not my soul was saved."

"How did you find out about the priest?"

Chase knew House wasn't going to let up. He was so tired and wanted him gone. "Fine, I saw it while I was lingering. Actually, I didn't see it. I heard about it. I was in too much pain to actually see it."

"You were in pain? I thought your mighty God healed all those in the great beyond."

"You have no idea what you are talking about. This isn't a subject to be trifled with. Why are you coming to me for such answers? I thought you knew it all."

"You saw something that still doesn't make sense."

"Nothing of consequence to you. Our perceptions are quite different anyway, so you aren't going to see the same things I do."

"Try me. What did you see?"

"It's none of your business." Chase snarled.

House came over to him and looked him straight in the eye. "I don't doubt what you saw you perceive to be real. I just doubt that it is."

"So this is now just a philosophical discussion among two colleagues that both happened to die? How hypocritical can you be? Are you coming to me because I might have the key to a phenomenon that has haunted you for the last 8 years? What do you possibly hope to hear? Do you want me to tell you that it was nothing but an illusion of the mind? Well sorry, despite what you have chosen to believe, it's not a chemical reaction when the brain shuts down. You couldn't be more wrong. Somehow though, I think you have always known that."

"So you think it was real?"

"How could it not be? I saw enough to learn that heaven and hell exist, God has a strange sense of humor and you can still be a screw up in another life."

"You are confusing perception with reality."

"Define reality then!" Chase had enough of House's antagonism. "I just don't have quick flashes here and there. I have vivid, long memories that are now stuck in my head for the rest of my life. I saw my parents in the same sorry state when they left this world. It isn't about smiles and happy reunions with loved ones. It's about judgment and facing up to your failures. That is about as real as it gets."

House stopped to reflect on what he just heard. He sat down in the chair next to the bed. "You're right," he calmly said. "You're explanation of what you saw will never match mine. I still doubt the after life and have no reason to think that our time on earth is just a test."

"I died. Guess what? Life after death does exist, or at least it always will in my mind. You are right though; this isn't just a test. What we do matters here, and it matters there too."

"So your little visions of death will always bother you?"

"Don't your memories bother you?"

House hesitated with his answer. He looked down and then softly admitted, "Yes."

"Sometimes House, we just need to accept that not all things can be explained. I don't want to explain what I saw and why. I just know that it happened."

"Okay, it happened. How do you plan on dealing with it? Does what you saw scare you?"

"It scares the crap out of me. Doesn't your experience scare you?"

"Nope. I'm bothered by it at times, but never scared."

"Why not?"

"A little something happens inside once you have passed into the great beyond. Care to find out what that is?"

Chase nodded.

"Okay, wait here."

House walked out of the room and came back a few minutes later pushing a wheel chair as he hobbled. "Get in."

Chase unhooked himself from all his lines and carefully climbed into the chair. His chest tightness was still pretty bad, but he knew whatever House was up to, this would be worth it.

They got into the elevator and House pushed the button for the first floor. The entire time Chase didn't say a word, but instead had an amused look on his face wondering what House was up to next. House pushed him out on the first floor and kept walking through the entrance of the hospital to the outside. It was rather chilly, but neither man seemed to mind since they were on a mission. They kept going until they were beyond the parking lot and at the crosswalk of the busy intersection that led to the entrance of the hospital complex.

House waited until the signal indicated it was time to cross, and he moved them both into the middle of the road and stopped. He waited until the light turned green the other way, and stood there letting the heavy flow of traffic constantly breeze right past them.

Chase had nothing but a smile on his face. House had gone mad, and he loved it. They both started laughing as cars swept by them beeping their horns.

"So, are you scared of dying?" House asked Chase.

"No."

"That's why I don't let what I saw affect me."

Chase grinned at the sheer madness of his revelation. He had something top it though. "House, you want to know something funny?"

"What?"

"In the after life, you were both God and The Devil."

House broke into hysterical laughter. "No wonder you were so freaked out."

Chase joined him in laughter as traffic became more and more snarled around them. They knew their experience wouldn't last much longer though, as in the distance they saw Cameron, Foreman, and Cuddy running toward them.

---------------

Chase started digging through his closet, trying to find the photo album that reflected his memories of late. His chest still hurt quite a bit so digging through all those items became that much harder.

He had been home for a week now, but somehow he woke up this morning compelled to find it. Finally, he spotted the album buried in the back. He dusted it off while he made his way over to the bed.

The memories were thick and overwhelming at first. The book was devoted to pictures of holidays in Queensland. With each turn of the page he saw the smiles and happy faces, the playfulness and joy that had filled his early childhood. The pictures paled in comparison to actually being in the landscape of the rolling meadows, but the faces captured more than made up for the lacking background.

As Chase continued to leaf through the photos, his sadness as well as his joy grew more powerful. How did life progress from this to its current state? The fact that he knew why it what increased his sadness. People do wear down. He could only learn from his parent's mistakes now instead of repeating them.

"Good morning, Robert."

Chase looked up startled to see Andie. She looked angelic as usual with her gorgeous long flowing white dress, her golden locks and pure bright blue eyes, but today she had a brighter aura that followed her.

"What are you doing here?" Chase asked.

"Today's the day."

"Really? Today?" Chase had been waiting for so long, he never thought this day would get here. He was glad, but at the same time was rather frightened. "Am I ready?"

She smiled sweetly and joyfully. "Yes, you are ready. It's finally over. You have suffered long enough."

"Okay," Chase stood up and took Andie's hand. "Let's go."

They stood together, all dressed in white. Chase was in his white suit, white shirt, and pale blue tie. They were standing in the back of a hospital room. Looking forward they could see Cameron sitting next to a comatose patient on life support. He was hooked to a respirator that was keeping him alive.

Andie looked at Chase with those pure heavenly blue eyes. "Just remember everything you saw was real because you perceive it to be. It is your perceptions that free your weighted soul."

Chase could only smile sweetly at her observation. "Eventually we all have to face ourselves. I'm humbled to be given this chance."

She reached over and gave him a huge hug. "I was supposed to take you, but they wanted you more. Good luck Robert."

He gave her a soft, sweet kiss on the cheek. "Thank you Andie, for everything."

Everything faded to white.

The coma patient slowly opened his blue-green eyes. Cameron jumped out of her seat in amazement.

"Chase! You're awake. Hold on, I have to page the others." Cameron ran to the phone and called the office. "Get over here and hurry!"

She rushed back to Chase's side with tears of joy rolling down her cheeks. "My God, you're awake. I never thought you would ever come back to us."

Chase looked at her with alert, happy eyes. He couldn't move much hooked to a respirator, but he did reach out his hand to grab hers. She took his hand and broke out into deep sobs.

House, Foreman, and Cuddy all rushed into the room. They were quite stunned to see an alert Chase holding onto an emotional Cameron, trying to offer her comfort.

House wasted no time grabbing his light pen and flashing it into Chase's eyes. He allowed himself to show a small relieved smile. "He looks surprisingly responsive."

"House, come here." Foreman was quick to check the vitals. House came over to see Foreman wearing his own relieved smile. "It's rare to see such strength out of someone that just came out of a long coma. Look at the pulse/ox. I'm willing to bet he can likely breathe on his own now."

House went back to Chase. "You want me to take that tube out now?"

Chase nodded rather enthusiastically. He could tell it had been there a while, so he prepared himself for the pain.

"Okay, you know the drill. Hurt, choking, that sort of thing." House unhooked the air line from the respirator and then proceeded to pull the tube out of his throat. Chase slightly rolled to one side and started choking and recoiling from the burning pain. Everyone stood still, hoping that he would be able to catch his breath.

After 30 seconds of coughing, Chase rolled back over and regained some control. All eyes were on House as he pulled out his stethoscope and started listening. "Breath sounds are normal."

"Thanks." Chase whispered in a very raw voice.

"Don't try to talk too soon," Cameron told him while still clutching onto his hand. She handed him a cup of water.

Chase realized that the pain in his chest was no longer there as he drank the water. He only felt mild tightness and looked down to see no signs of a bleeding wound at all. He also didn't feel weak and tired anymore.

"My chest feels good." Only half of the words came out clear, but Cameron knew what he said.

"You've had a month in a coma for that to heal. A long coma is a perfect way for a chest wound to heal quickly."

"A month?" Chase knew he had been lingering a long time. He had one day in the after life and the rest was drifting and reconciling things within his own mind. He lost track. He couldn't believe it was a month.

"You stopped breathing on your own a day after surgery because of swelling in the brain due to being down for so long during the operation." Foreman explained. "We had no reason to believe the damage was permanent, but it was severe enough where we knew healing would take time."

House was pleased that Chase mentioned his chest pain. "Chase, do you remember what happened?"

He nodded and whispered, "Every bit. I was shot through the heart."

Cameron, Foreman and House all glanced at each other with deep reassurance. They were afraid of memory loss too.

"Well, I don't mind saying that you had us worried sick," Cuddy said watching the others try to be professional doctors. She came over and put her hand on Chase's shoulder. "I'm glad you're okay."

Chase smiled. After his long ordeal, he could finally declare, "Yes, I'm okay."

The End

**a/n: When I originally wrote this chapter, Chase died in the end (thus prompting a rewrite). I read it, I cried, I loved it, and realized I would so piss off anyone who has stuck with this story. So, I went the other way. The epilogue shows the alternate ending for all those that were curious.**

**Thank you for all your comments and devotion to a story that got the inspiration to do while walking to my car from work one day. This has turned out to be my most reviewed story ever! **


	11. Epilogue

**a/n: I've had a couple requests for an epilogue and to post the originally written but removed death scene. I'm never one to turn down requests.**

**So, I'm sure the biggest question was why was everything that happened from Chapter 7 - 10 (first half) all in Chase's mind while he lingered in a coma?**

**Chase had a lot to work out in his mind after what he saw in the after life. It shook him up dramatically. Chase is a deeply private person, so the coma was a great way to enable him to deal with it privately over a long period of time. Sure, it was within his own mind, but everything he saw was real to him and will stick with him the rest of his life. It really didn't matter if others were there to see it as well.**

**Plus, wasn't him waking up from a long coma a great plot twist? I thought so anyway. :)**

**Chapter 10 was also a plot device to show a whole "reality vs. perception" scenario that the show actually started in Three Stories. I felt like exploring that more. House wasn't sure what he saw was real. I felt Chase would take an after life experience and would think it was very real. I liked exploring the opposites.**

**As for Chapters 1-6, if anyone saw the original St. Elsewhere episode, it was very tame and watered down compared to what I ended up writing. I went overly dramatic (especially with Chase's constant pain and fatigue) and did a much more "in your face" approach to the religious ramifications. I took many liberties here. The hell scene wasn't even close to the original and all of it was my own fabrication. House as God and the Devil? There was not one person who had both roles in the original. I just thought that would be very funny. The final part in chapter 6 where Chase was dying while his parents tearfully watched in between the surgery scenes; that did not happen in the original episode either. As I said before, I went overly dramatic.**

**I'm still waiting for a Catholic to come along and tell me how so wrong I was with my assumptions in this story. I found what I wrote was credible for non-Catholics like myself, so that is something. As long as wikipedia is correct, hopefully my story is correct.**

**Once again and this is true for all my work, thank you so much for the comments and taking time to read my stories. I strive to be unique but believable and present ideas/plots that make us think. This style definitely doesn't work for everyone so I thank all those that have taken interest in my stories.**

**Without further delay, below is the "author's cut" death scene. It's a tear jerker.**

---------------

Chase started digging through his closet, trying to find the photo album that reflected his memories of late. His chest still hurt quite a bit so digging through all those items became that much harder.

He had been home for a week now, but somehow he woke up this morning compelled to find it. Finally, he spotted the album buried in the back. He dusted it off while he made his way over to the bed.

The memories were thick and overwhelming at first. The book was devoted to pictures of holidays in Queensland. With each turn of the page he saw the smiles and happy faces, the playfulness and joy that had filled his early childhood. The pictures paled in comparison to actually being in the landscape of the rolling meadows, but the faces captured more than made up for the lacking background.

As Chase continued to leaf through the photos, his sadness as well as his joy grew more powerful. How did life progress from this to its current state? The fact that he knew why it what increased his sadness. People do wear down. He could only learn from his parent's mistakes now instead of repeating them.

"Good morning, Robert."

Chase looked up startled to see Andie. She looked angelic as usual with her gorgeous long flowing white dress, her golden locks and pure bright blue eyes, but today she had a brighter aura that followed her.

"What are you doing here?" Chase asked.

"Today's the day."

"Really? Today?" Chase had been waiting for so long, he never thought this day would get here. He was glad, but at the same time was rather frightened. "Am I ready?"

She smiled sweetly and joyfully. "Yes, you are ready. It's finally over. You have suffered long enough."

"Okay," Chase stood up and took Andie's hand. "Let's go."

They quickly found themselves standing in the back of a hospital room. Looking forward they could see Cameron sitting next to a comatose patient on life support. He was hooked to a respirator that was keeping him alive.

Cameron sat there with tears flowing down her cheeks. She had been there all night because she knew what was going to happen. She needed one more moment, one more chance for hope. There was still time. If she was religious she would be praying for a miracle right now. Instead, she just sat and cried.

She felt a hand on her shoulder. "No House, I'm not ready."

"I know, but he is."

Foreman stood over her showing his face of complete sorrow. "I'm sorry Cam." He slid past her respectfully over to the respirator, waiting for instruction. A solemn Cuddy entered as well, followed by Wilson. He took his place next to Cameron, ready to provide the emotional support that she would desperately need.

House took his spot at the foot of the bed, towering again over his wounded duckling. He got to avoid this twice, but there was no getting by it this time. The DNR told him so.

House knew he couldn't waste anymore time. He glanced at Cuddy, then Wilson with his deeply pained blue eyes. Cameron wouldn't even look at him as she kept her distraught face buried in her hands. House looked over at Foreman and gave him the nod.

Foreman took a deep breath and turned the dial to off on the respirator. Monitors started beeping wildly as everyone stood still holding their own private vigils. Within a minute or two everyone's heart sunk when the long monotone sound of the flat line arrived.

Foreman reached over wearing a devastated look on his face and turned the monitors off, leaving only the sound of total stunned silence amongst those in the room.

House paused for a few seconds as he couldn't get the words out. He kept staring at Chase's now lifeless body in front of him. Finally, he pulled himself together and glanced at the clock. "Time of death, 9:52 am."

Cameron broke out in deep sobs as Wilson held onto her. "Get her out of here," House instructed his best friend. Wilson helped her up and guided her out the room; the entire time she couldn't take her eyes off of her departed colleague. When she was out in the hallway and beyond the sight of the scene, she collapsed into Wilson's arms and completely broke down.

Cuddy had tears streaming down her face. "I'm sorry House," she said softly putting her hand on his shoulder. She quietly left to give him a moment alone.

Foreman and House shared a glance of complete heartbreak. Foreman put his head down and quickly walked out.

House walked over to Chase, unhooked the respirator and removed the breathing tube. He continued to stare at the young Aussie that he loved to torment. In the end, Chase got the better of him.

"What a waste." House grabbed onto his cane and turned away.

Chase and Andie kept their places in the back of the room, both sets of eyes on House as he walked out with tears welling up in his eyes.

"Goodbye House." Chase said with overwhelming gratitude to his mentor.

He now wore a white suit, white shirt, and pale blue tie. He and Andie shared a sad smile, grabbed hands and started walking into a stream of light. Everything then faded to white.


End file.
